A degree was just an entry ticket to what we saw as a secure job. In those days it was easier to marry a girl into a ‘civilized’ family if she had a job, especially a secure job. And it was routine to expect the woman to manage the work and the household. The burden of this worldly routine was exhausting. But many women were proud of their economic independence and the convenience it provided at home. Even though they are mostly adept at clerical or junior management jobs that many manage, women do not see themselves as professionals working with purpose.
The job was a necessity and had to be done without hurting the home and other family responsibilities. My friend was one such woman. And that’s why she wanted it to end when she felt she had worked long enough. We all believe that the pursuit of happiness is a set goal.
We also envision a different scenario than the one we are currently in, being better. In that world we see in our mind, our life is different. Recognizing that there is something in our present that is preventing us from becoming who we want to be is our way of facing life. We feel that the end of our present burdens should bring happiness to our imagined otherworldly world.
For my friend, retirement meant getting up early in the morning to complete household chores and go to work; She used to spend her morning peacefully. He no longer has to devote the best part of his day to working at his desk with his coworkers; She will make new friends. He didn’t have to come back tired at the end of the day; She would indulge in music, movies and good food. Just like we all create an alternate version of our lives in which everything is hunky dory, he romanticized retirement.
The problem list is long upon review after the initial 10 years. It was hard to make new friends because finding like-minded people was not easy; It was boring to do nothing after the initial phase of relaxation; Fear of being irrelevant and out of touch came up in conversations with children and family; If she hated being tied up in the kitchen, she was cooking even more now when she had time; And having so much time, she found friends and family demanding her time for activities that didn’t excite her.
every activity she thought was attractive, such as traveling, eating out, participating in activities spend money and he made it vulnerable, There is always scope for a version 2, if one puts his mind to it. These are some of the possibilities we discussed:
First, take the time to find out what attracts you. Instead of dealing with many years of chasing an earthly life that no one had chosen, what would someone do if they had a choice again? Are there interests that wake you up and revitalize you? There are friends who have started cooking ventures; Some have discovered the painting; has become a tourist guide; one is learning Sanskrit and reinterpreting ancient literature; The list is long. Find purpose, meaning will follow.
Second, don’t get bogged down in what you’re expected to do and don’t follow unnecessary dogmas. There are no rules for earning money in a new profession; to serve the society and community There are more ways than just being a reluctant volunteer can be done; It is not mandatory for retirees to sacrifice all the pleasures of everyday life like good food and clothes. Break the clutter by asking what matters most to you. Finding what one’s heart desires doesn’t always involve money.
Third, there is no alternate world in which you would magically become someone else. What you are doing right now is you with your time, effort, thoughts and relationships, that is the real you. Be mindful of your present, and take small steps to do what makes you feel good. You can bring your dream world into your life one step at a time. Don’t waste your years in the quirky romanticization of a different and new you. You have to build that new version one brick at a time.
Fourth, money is easily managed if you can define your needs truthfully. The pension is sufficient for a person living in your own household and having no dependents. There is no need to save and save, but use the regular flow of income on your needs. Creating a budget and allocating money for necessary expenses is enough to keep the individual safe. Do not imagine big expenses that are not real and are afraid of the unknown. Align your lifestyle with your defaulted income and don’t celebrate unused large bank balances. Fifth, find meaning in things that do not require money.
We spend the early part of our lives losing our souls to compete and comparisons with classmates; Then in our careers we try to learn how to work with coworkers without being jealous; And then we grow up to realize that the real happiness lies in cooperation. Bring that human connection back into your life. Reach out and interact, engage, soothe, relax and help fellow human beings. When you find ways to collaborate, the doors of joy and purpose open up.
My friend told me that she considered retirement as a comfort, but understood that without rejuvenation it was not sustainable. Plan to live to 90, and make those 30 years purposeful. Nothing is lost if one passes away first. But imagine the horrors of a meaningless existence in that era. Get to work, I told him, on your own and your purpose. Life is too precious, just to give up and fall behind on an artificial trail they call retirement.
(The author is chairperson of the Center for Investment Education and Learning.)